Looking back on 2016

2016 has been a year full of highs and lows for most of us, and for me it was a year where I learnt and realised a lot of things I’d tried to deny in the past. I had a bad ending to 2015 which lead into 2016 after my best friend passed away, however I did have a boyfriend to help me through it once he grew the balls to ask me out. Either way here are some of my highlights and life lessons from 2016.

The first highlight started bang on New Years when my now boyfriend announced he was going to kiss me at midnight, leading to us getting together after knowing each other for two years. Since then I’ve had so many new experiences that he has brought me, for example going to Italy, somewhere I’ve been wanting to go for years, for a holiday in the summer, as well as helping me learn that its okay to trust people and tell them how you feel as well as letting them see you at your weakest sometimes. My boyfriend has been behind a big confidence increase in me this year and I can’t thank him enough for that.

I also learnt this year that things never go as planned and thats okay. I planned this year that I was going to save lots of money which went straight down the drain when work cut my hours before announcing they only wanted full timers. This lead to me finding another job last minute and having to go with the fewer hours they have. But from this I learnt that sometimes things go wrong for a reason, I’ve learnt how to pace my money through out the month when living month to month and not being able to save anything.

One of the biggest things I learnt this year was that I am important. I’ve always struggled with the idea that I’m important and that I matter. I’ve forever been told by some family members that I was never good enough and would never be good enough, leading to me having a lot of confidence issues and feeling as if things are my fault, that I’m not trying hard enough or I’m not good enough. Thats all changed now and I’ve finally accepted that I matter, and if people don’t respect that then they aren’t people who I need in my life. I stopped chasing people who were only ever interested in talking to me when it benefited them and distanced myself from family members that I don’t get on that well with, only seeing them at special occasions. I’ve also reached the stage where I know my thoughts matter and will tell people if I feel their treating my unfairly or if they have upset me.

Another highlight that happened a few weeks ago now, was getting my brown belt in karate. Life got a bit hectic with hospital appointments, college projects, training and races which lead to a messy session the session before my grading where I blanked everything and ended up having a mini panic attack and feeling like I wasn’t good enough to do my grading, and with my fear of failure, the worst thing I could think of doing was going for it and failing it. I overcame this working my arse off for four days, doing my grading and passing. I really feel as if I proved to myself and my instructors that I am good enough and that I can achieve things if I want it.

A slight downside but also upside was discovering that I have a heart defect and finally sorting out my stomach condition. My stomach condition was an attributing factor to my confidence issues because when I would eat even the smallest thing, I would bloat out badly and sometimes get stomach pains so bad I wouldn’t be able to move. I was also constantly tired and sleeping. Now this has been sorted I’m a lot more confident in what I wear as well as in myself. My new found heart defect taught me that no matter what life throws at you, you can work through it and still achieve what you want.

I’m hoping 2017 is going to be a better year and my boyfriend and I are looking forward to starting another year together. Comment below what your highlights of 2016 have been!

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Looking back on 2016

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